Sunday, September 28, 2008

Let Them Eat Cake & Other Ups and Downs

Last week was a week of ups and downs for me, physically, emotionally and topographically.

The first week off of sugar and eating healthier, I lost 5 pounds. Then I spent last week wobbling between this one pound. I knew (from prior experience and watching Biggest Loser) it would slow down during week 2, but it was still a little frustrating. I just told myself I wanted to lose one more by the end of the week, and I did. So I was happy about that. Of course, that was yesterday, the day of the cake buffet, so it was right back on this morning. But I expect it to be gone very soon.

So, Tuesday, I had a huge breakdown (or as I learned from Jim Carey on Oprah last week, a "breakthrough.") It started at the gym after running 2.1 miles. I started crying and pretty much didn't stop all day. I seriously haven't had a day like that since college (or maybe the day after our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, but that's another post). Any little thing set me off, like when I discovered Nate had taken the fajitas I had been looking forward to all day to work for his lunch, and then had the nerve to say "they're just fajitas." I hung up on him and burst into tears. I was crying for several reasons, which were all related to this new "lifestyle," but it was intensified and dramatized by hormones. I figured out that I was mostly morning my old relationship with food and the feelings I got from it. As dumb as it sounds, it was like missing a dear friend. I really think I need therapy, but instead I turned to friends and family (lots cheaper!) and after many words of encouragement and advice, including all the scriptures on strength I could find, I felt a lot better. As Jim Carey also said on Oprah (it was the Mother Warrior show, one of the best in a long time) I had to feel it to heal it.

Last week was my second week in a row of working out 6 times. We also started a new adventure -- running outside. Which includes hills and wind -- two things which make running even harder than it already is. But I saw a lot of life lessons in it. Running up the hill is so hard, but you know it's going to end and then it will be easier. After you've run up a hill running flat is much easier than if you hadn't run up the hill. And usually after you run up a hill, you get to run down a hill, which is such a relief and darn near fun. I'm sure you get the analogies. . .

Now for the highlight of the week: The Cake Buffet. After much discussion, anticipation, strategizing, and fantasizing I have to say it was a little disappointing. That's only because I tend to get my expectations way too high on things. I really wanted to taste about half the cakes there. I think I ended up eating the equivalent of 2 (or 3) pieces total, but that was only 7 different cakes. 7 out of 40. I was so sad when my stomach started to hurt and the sweetness stopped tasting good. People had been telling me that would happen and I didn't believe it, because this is me we're talking about here, but they were right. Thinking back on it, they were all delicious and getting to taste 7 different cakes in one night is pretty great. Of course, after all that sugar, I was dying for salt. Since a few of us hadn't had dinner, we topped it all off by going to Costa Vida (Cafe Rio knock off). That tasted wonderful too, as did the leftovers I had today.

So here's a picture of Jenni and me -- two girls who met their goal and earned their reward! Unfortunately, I was way too focused on cake to take any at the beginning, those were just the treats she was taking to her kids (one of those didn't exactly make it. . . and I'm not talking about the pear!)
So, I'm back off of sugar for now. I think I'm going to splurge once a week. Depending on if I can get away with it. If I keep gaining and losing this exact same pound, I guess I'll have to splurge less. For the record, the goal is 10 more pounds by Christmas, and 21 total. And I am sure there are many more ups and downs to come. I'm just hoping for more emotional ups than downs and more weight downs than ups.

I promise the next post will have nothing to do with fitness and/or weight loss!


Melissa said...

I was so tempted to come to your cake buffet because our stake did nothing. But then we had a plumbing issue I had to help out with, so I ended up staying home. And then I reminded myself that I don't really like cake anyway. But you are doing awesome with the whole running and exercising thing. I totally admire you for that.

Libby said...

I'm glad you made it through your "breakthrough day." I was worried.
I thought about you and the cake buffet when I was sampling at my RS's pie social. I'm glad you ate yourself sick. That's how I like to splurge!
You are doing great with the diet and exercise! I'm going to have to kick it in gear to keep up with you so we can go shopping once we reach our goals!

Barrons said...

congrats on your weight lose! I am going through the same thing right now. My biggest issue is not drinking Mr. Pibb. I've lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. I played soccer yesterday and can barely walk today. Keep it up! You help me when I don't want to get out and jog with the jogging stroller. I love your blogs on your journey with getting in shape. :)

Ambie said...

Michelle, this is the first I have been to your blog and it looks great! The kids are lovely and good job on your 5 pound loss. Hang in there !

Jenni C. said...

I love to read your posts. Even though we talk about it all during most of our runs, I still like to are so funny. BTW, I put the cake in M's lunch yesterday and after school she said, "That cake wasn't that good mom!" I think it's a good think that one didn't make it. They didn't appreciate it half as much as you did! :)

You are doing great! I'm amazed at how far you have come in such a short amount of time. The run this morning was awesome!!

sarah said...

Michelle you look amazing. Give yourself some credit DIBFF. I miss you so much and am so glad to catch up with you through blogging!

Tim said...

Nice blog. It brought back to memory a fun little high school discussion with a group of friends on "which of your senses would be the absolute worst to lose?" I said sight. A girl in our group said, "taste," and we mocked her to no end. Over time, I've come to better understand better why people would not want to sacrifice taste.