Last week was a week of ups and downs for me, physically, emotionally and topographically.
The first week off of sugar and eating healthier, I lost 5 pounds. Then I spent last week wobbling between this one pound. I knew (from prior experience and watching Biggest Loser) it would slow down during week 2, but it was still a little frustrating. I just told myself I wanted to lose one more by the end of the week, and I did. So I was happy about that. Of course, that was yesterday, the day of the cake buffet, so it was right back on this morning. But I expect it to be gone very soon.
So, Tuesday, I had a huge breakdown (or as I learned from Jim Carey on Oprah last week, a "breakthrough.") It started at the gym after running 2.1 miles. I started crying and pretty much didn't stop all day. I seriously haven't had a day like that since college (or maybe the day after our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, but that's another post). Any little thing set me off, like when I discovered Nate had taken the fajitas I had been looking forward to all day to work for his lunch, and then had the nerve to say "they're just fajitas." I hung up on him and burst into tears. I was crying for several reasons, which were all related to this new "lifestyle," but it was intensified and dramatized by hormones. I figured out that I was mostly morning my old relationship with food and the feelings I got from it. As dumb as it sounds, it was like missing a dear friend. I really think I need therapy, but instead I turned to friends and family (lots cheaper!) and after many words of encouragement and advice, including all the scriptures on strength I could find, I felt a lot better. As Jim Carey also said on Oprah (it was the Mother Warrior show, one of the best in a long time) I had to feel it to heal it.
Last week was my second week in a row of working out 6 times. We also started a new adventure -- running outside. Which includes hills and wind -- two things which make running even harder than it already is. But I saw a lot of life lessons in it. Running up the hill is so hard, but you know it's going to end and then it will be easier. After you've run up a hill running flat is much easier than if you hadn't run up the hill. And usually after you run up a hill, you get to run down a hill, which is such a relief and darn near fun. I'm sure you get the analogies. . .
Now for the highlight of the week: The Cake Buffet. After much discussion, anticipation, strategizing, and fantasizing I have to say it was a little disappointing. That's only because I tend to get my expectations way too high on things. I really wanted to taste about half the cakes there. I think I ended up eating the equivalent of 2 (or 3) pieces total, but that was only 7 different cakes. 7 out of 40. I was so sad when my stomach started to hurt and the sweetness stopped tasting good. People had been telling me that would happen and I didn't believe it, because this is me we're talking about here, but they were right. Thinking back on it, they were all delicious and getting to taste 7 different cakes in one night is pretty great. Of course, after all that sugar, I was dying for salt. Since a few of us hadn't had dinner, we topped it all off by going to Costa Vida (Cafe Rio knock off). That tasted wonderful too, as did the leftovers I had today.
So here's a picture of Jenni and me -- two girls who met their goal and earned their reward! Unfortunately, I was way too focused on cake to take any at the beginning, those were just the treats she was taking to her kids (one of those didn't exactly make it. . . and I'm not talking about the pear!)
So, I'm back off of sugar for now. I think I'm going to splurge once a week. Depending on if I can get away with it. If I keep gaining and losing this exact same pound, I guess I'll have to splurge less. For the record, the goal is 10 more pounds by Christmas, and 21 total. And I am sure there are many more ups and downs to come. I'm just hoping for more emotional ups than downs and more weight downs than ups.
I promise the next post will have nothing to do with fitness and/or weight loss!
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