Hilarious Harrison

When my youngest sister was little, my mom started writing all the funny things she said down in a file called "Cute Katy." She keeps encouraging me to do the same, because she knows otherwise I will forget. So here is installment #1 of "Hilarious Harrison." I will also do "Entertaining Elizabeth," but she doesn't talk much yet, so we'll see how that goes.



So here are some of the great lines from the recent past.



First of all, his top three greatest insults right now are, "You're fired!" (Sometimes I think, that wouldn't be so bad, find me a replacement- mostly kidding). "You're slurry junk food!" (no idea what slurry means) and "You're a toy!" He obtained this arsenal of insults from various shows --Incredibles, Caption Carlos, and Toy Story, in that order.



After spending way too much money one day Nate told Harrison, "Mommy's going to kill me." Well, kill is a word that always catches Harrison's attention, and we've told him it's not a nice thing to say. So, for days after he kept asking me why I was going to kill Daddy. Needless to say, I was not thrilled when I heard the story. Some might say, I wanted to kill Nate.



So, the other day when my friend watched the kids, I asked her if Harrison had said anything crazy, like Mommy wants to kill Daddy. She said he did say that Daddy said kill, but he was just joking and that Daddy also said not to pass gas at other people's houses. Good advice, Dad.



Yesterday, when a different friend came over Harrison ran up to her in just his shirt and announced, "I just did the grossest poop ever!" I must admit, both of his parents have been known to give commentary on their achievements in the bathroom from time to time, just usually not as a greeting to visitors! (Although, his mother just admitted that to all of blogworld, which is probably worse!)



Last week, I was lost and kept having to turn around. Harrison asked, "Mommy, why you keep switching around?" I said I was lost. "Well, don't give up Mommy." What a sweet, encouraging son I have. When I finally found it and stopped, he wanted to know why I was giving up. Then he was happy for me when I explained that I wasn't giving up, I finally found it.



When a friend's little girl came over wearing her "Sleeping Cutie" costume, I told Harrison to get her a toy. He looked her up and down and then said, "But I don't have any beautiful toys." He's been very into gender issues lately, what's for girls and what's for boys. Pink/blue, etc. When shopping for a Mother's Day gift for my mom, we went into the Brighton Store (a VERY girly accessories store for those of you who don't know) Harrison walked in, did a 180 and walked right out. When I told him to come back in the store he said, "But I hate cute things!" Later when I asked if he wanted to see what I got Grandma he asked, "Is is beautiful or is it cool?" (Apparently, cool is for boys.)


At preschool graduation when 17 other children were nicely singing "Today's the day we graduate. . " My child put his hands over his ears (see picture!) and then ran toward me screaming, "This song is UGLY!" Quite embarrassing!



I know there are lots more, that aren't coming to mind right now, but I'll keep them coming as I remember.